"Times they are a changing"

Whoa things have been cray-cray the last month! It was a few weeks ago that my PI (my mentor, my boss, my paycheck) called a lab meeting. Usually these things are planned far in advanced and the discussion topid is known. This was a very cloaks and daggers meeting. I had a bad feeling. At the meeting he informed us that he had resigned that morning. . . . Seriously the ". . . ." was actually what was running through my mind. You know that buzzing feeling in your ears after hearing something really loud, that's what was running through my mind. I was shocked. I had just met with my PI that morning to discuss the future direction of my project and had no indication there was no future...

In undergrad I knew I wanted to "help people" and have always had an interest in healthcare. Thus, I chose to study biology thinking this would allow me to accomplish my mission (without really knowing what kind of career would best allow me to do that). This was not a well though out plan, and I was quite naive. Fast forward six years, I found myself spending long hours, isolated, centrifuging solutions. Though biomedical research is extremely important, I found myself missing interaction with the members of the community. I knew I wanted to more directly affect change, but at the same time really use the scientific/quantitative/hypothesis testing side of my brain. I then explored careers in public health. I feel like I got on a single track, trying to groom myself for this crazy competitive career that I actually didn't want to do. At the time I was frustrated at why I hadn't heard the discipline "public health" until my senior year of college. It is the more practical application of disease prevention. I had tried to make my experience at Hopkins be a means to an end. In addition to my PhD, I applied to the MS Public Health program in the Department of International Health (Global Disease and Epidemiological Control) at Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health (#1 ranked). I liked the global perspective, heavy biostatistic focus, and epidemiological focus. Epidemiology is studying disease from the population perspective. It's essentially the opposite of biomedical research, where you study an extremely specific molecule which is part of a pathway in a disease.

I was accepted to the program! I pulled strings to get both my PI and my graduate program to agree. I had worked it out so I didn't have to pay the nearly $50,000/year tuition either! Double yeah! But it was not meant to be. With the departure of my PI, so went that opportunity. I would need to find a new lab and a new thesis project to remain in my graduate program. The projects are not transferrable. Due to government budget cuts in the last year, only a small proportion of the faculty in my department was taking a graduate student. I didn't want to have my PhD extended another year and be pigeonholed into joining a lab that I wasn't really interested in their research. I could also take out >$80,000 in student loans to pay for my MSPH from Bloomberg. I weighed my options and decided to receive a Master's Degree from Hopkins and enter the working world.

I am moving to Denver in two weeks and I am looking for public health focused work. If you know me, you know I like to plan things out years in advance. Therefore, having only a few weeks to throw together a Master's Thesis, coordinate a cross country move, look for a job in this economy, find housing, and sell/give away pretty much everything I own has made me completely lose my mind. I hope I'm doing the best thing for me. I think it's one of those situations where three months from now I'll be happier than I've ever been, but right now it doesn't seem that way. :-(